1309| 21
|
古典诗十一期七律第十讲夏组作业贴: |
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
凤凰号,你的习作读罢,感觉总体还通顺,用韵也正确,不足还是老问题,一是不够通顺,比如首联的下分句和颈联的两句;二是对吟咏物的分寸 把握上有不足,仙人掌何以能为师?何以怕烈日?三是“不”字重了。个见。
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院 ( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2025-1-20 13:49 , Processed in 0.154869 second(s), 26 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.