|
5584| 76
|
古典词三十期初级班栖文组第二讲作业帖 |
| ||
| ||
| ||
| ||
点评
果树峥嵘老师点评:问好词友!小令意脉流畅,结构紧凑,好一番春游!“竟”笔误?竞?
| ||
点评
果树峥嵘老师点评:问好词友!春华秋实,丰收的喜悦洋溢字里行间。结句“胜”似可炼。
| ||
点评
果树峥嵘老师点评:问好词友!调侃式的语调,倒也诙谐。惟觉过片两个三字句过熟。个见仅供参考。
| ||
|Archiver|手机版|小黑屋|古典听风书院
( 蜀ICP备15023305号-1 )
GMT+8, 2026-11-12 20:37 , Processed in 0.327426 second(s), 20 queries .
Powered by Discuz! X3.2 Licensed
© 2001-2013 Comsenz Inc.